After more than 1743 years world’s largest toy distributor gets first forklift

IN AN unprecedented move, the world’s largest toy distributor has switched logistics operations to Mitsubishi Forklift Trucks. Or more accurately, one Mitsubishi forklift truck: the electric Mitsubishi EDiA XL, winner of the Environmental Award at the Archies.

Announcing the move Santa Claus said that, in response to representations from animal rights groups his team of reindeer will be rested for Christmas 2023. “It will certainly be a lot quieter than having 36 hooves clattering across the tiles,” he explained.

Famous for his bulging cheeks and sack, the big man said: “Importantly, this new truck has all the power I need, and when I need to go up steep roofs I get some extra oomph from something called AutoBoost. It also has Automatic Hill Ho! Ho! Hold, so I don’t need to faff around with the handbrake when I’m jumping on and off, which saves loads of time. And that’s important with an ever-growing population or children around the world.”

Delivering millions of presents demands staying power though and, as the most energy-efficient truck in its class, the 4-5.5 tonne EDiA XL makes sure that Santa is still going strong as dawn fails to rise* over the North Pole and he returns home.

The truck’s four-wheel steering and electric differential lock ensure perfect grip and traction even in the ice and snow, with the world’s quietest cabin keeping the working environment stress-free and at a perfect temperature whether Santa is in Iceland or Australia. And that’s important. He’s got to stay alert and in total control, making sure the right gifts get to the right children even after downing 100,000 sherries and scoffing a million mince pies.

Summing up, Santa said: “Someone, somewhere has definitely been sprinkling a little magic dust. The truck seemed to know just how I wanted to drive it and automatically adjusted the handling to suit my style… it’s even easy to operate with my big woolly mittens.

“The thing I like best, though, is how clean it is – no wonder it was the winner of the Environmental Award at the Archies. I’ll suppose I’ll miss Rudolph’s red nose… but I certainly won’t miss the methane and all the other emissions.”

The Reindeer Union declined to comment.

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For more information call 0845 3713048 or visit mitsubishi-forklift.co.uk

For more information about Santa Claus contact Santa’s Grotto, the North Pole or put a note up the chimney.

*as it will fail to do until early March